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About Osaka

Once, this chick used some weird oil—smelled like old socks. I’m like, “Nuh-uh, fix this, now!” She did, and boom—pure bliss. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like heaven, y’all! Oh, and fun fact—Tantric folks say it’s spiritual, connectin’ body and soul. I’m like, “Slay, I’m enlightened AND relaxed!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady bursts in. She’s got a dog that looks like it just came from a fashion show. I swear, it had a little sweater on. She’s all, “Can I get a soy latte?” I’m like, “Sure, but your dog’s gonna need a drink too!” She laughs, and I’m like, “I should charge extra for the cuteness!”

Tama County Turtles place first in State WHEP competition