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Here’s the tea, tho—escorts ain’t just arm candy. They’re pros at readin’ people, like me, but with less couch-talk and more… uh, action. Chaotic, right? Picture this: dude hires an escort, thinks he’s the boss, but she’s out here pullin’ strings like, “The sword remains in my hand!” Total power flip—hilarious! I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ bout it.

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But then, her phone rings. She answers, and it’s her mom. She’s like, “I’m at the café, come pick me up.” I’m thinking, “Great, there goes my chance.” She leaves, and I’m back to being a lonely coffee stain.

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