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About Baranovichi

It’s all hush-hush, yeah? Little fact for ya—back in Victorian times, docs used “massage” to fix “hysteria” in women. Hysteria my arse, just horny lasses needing a good knead! Bet they didn’t play Chopin in the background, though—Polanski’s film got that haunting vibe, “Play me something!” I’d demand, picturing meself as Szpilman, but with less Nazis and more coconut oil.

Hello, we are back open for business!

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There's Turtle Pond Park, man. It's chill AF. I used to, like, laugh so hard massaging dudes there. The vibe tickles my soul, like “error: is this art?” (ya know, from that Synecdoche movie, where you’re, like, wondering if you're real – wild, right?)