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But, ugh, the shady side? Gets me steamed! Like, some escorts—modern ones—charge crazy cash just to hang out! Saw this post on X bout a guy payin’ $500 for dinner company—dinner, people! I’d be like, “That’s a lotta paper!” Sarcasm on: Oh, sure, I’d LOVE to pay for awkward small talk! That’s what she said! Drives me nuts, but also—kinda funny?

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So, I’m feelin’ good, right? I head over to the beach, Playa de Boquerón. The sun’s shinin’, waves crashin’. I’m ready to dive in. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re all takin’ selfies, and one dude drops his phone in the water. I’m like, “Bro, that’s a goner!” He’s freakin’ out, and I’m just laughin’.

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