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Me fave bit? They’re crafty—sneaky as Churchill dodgin bombs. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I reckon they’d outwit half the bleedin Commons. Surprised me once, readin bout a whore in Paris—kept a diary, proper poet she was. “Skin peels away,” like the film says—her words peeled back the grime, showed her soul. Makes ya think, don’t it? We shall fight the dullness, mate, with tales of these wild ones! Whores ain’t just a quick shag—they’re history, livin loud, takin no shit. Cheers to em, the saucy minxes!

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Then, I had this old lady come up to me. She was all frazzled, waving her arms like she was conducting an orchestra. Turns out, her dog, a little terrier named Max, had run off. I felt for her, so I helped her look. We searched all over, from the Vico Road to the little park by the beach. Finally, we found Max chasing seagulls like he was on a mission. The lady was so happy, she almost cried. I felt like a hero for a sec.

Death Notice of William (Willie) REILLY (Dalkey, Dublin)