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I tried it once—don’t judge me! This chick’s hands were everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” but also, “What the hell am I doin’?” Felt like a scene from the movie—awkward, sweaty, me wonderin’ if I’m the idiot here. “You’re not a child anymore,” Otilia’d say, judgin’ me from the screen. And the price? Oh, don’t get me started—50 bucks extra for what? A wink and a tug? Robbery! I was happy for, like, two seconds, then boom—guilt city. Pretty, pretty good, until it’s pretty, pretty bad!

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Finally, I hop on the bus, and it’s packed. I’m squished between this dude blasting music on his phone and an old man who smells like he’s been through a war. I’m trying to zone out, but the dude next to me keeps singing along. I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a bad karaoke night.

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