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About Schaan

Oh blast it all! R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, stuck talkin bout sex escorts, and you’re off beepin somewhere! Alright, mate, lemme spill it—sex escorts, yeah? Wild world, innit? Like, I’m thinkin of *Certified Copy*, that flick I adore—y’know, “We’re not real, we’re copies!”—and it hits me: escorts kinda live that, don’t they? Real but not real, playin a part. Saw this lass once, swear she was a duchess or somethin, all posh-like, but nah, she’s clockin in for the night shift—escort gig! Blew my circuits, that did.

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Then I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Yo, we got a last-minute job on the other side of town.” I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” So I hustle over to the other side, takin’ the long way through the Rheinpark. It’s a nice park, but I’m not here for nature, man! I’m here to blast!

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