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Oh, and the clients—don’t get me started! Buncha sad sacks, payin’ for a cuddle ‘cos they can’t chat up a bird in a pub. Pathetic, innit? Like, grow a pair, lads! Tho, gotta admit, I’ve heard some wild tales—bloke once booked an escort just to watch *EastEnders* with ‘im. No funny business, just soaps and tea. Mental! Wonder if she charged extra for sufferin’ through that drivel.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this.” I grab my coffee from that cute little café on the Hoogeweg. You know the one? The barista there is always super chill, but today? She was like a tornado of energy. I swear she was bouncing off the walls. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, and she’s talking about some new pastry they’re trying out. I’m like, “Lady, I just need my coffee, not a life story!”

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