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Now, here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know prostitutes in old France, like way back, used to hide in haystacks? Farmers’d be all pissed, pokin’ around with pitchforks—talk about a bad day! Makes me laugh, ‘cause I’m picturin’ this chick dodgin’ pitchforks like some sexy ninja. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—yeah, me, Marge!—and she’s tellin’ me how she’s got regulars, guys who tip big, and I’m like, “Good for you, sister!” Kinda made me happy, y’know? Girl’s got grit!

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After a few minutes, it’s all good. Turns out it was a false alarm. We head back in, and I’m just relieved. I mean, Lower Earley can be wild sometimes, but I love it.

Meet Gary Shacklady, the Green candidate for Earley and Woodley