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Then there’s the creeps—ooh, they boil me blood! Lads sendin’ dick pics, no shame, like “Here’s me precious!” We hates it! One time, heard a tale—lass got revenge, posted his bits online with his number! “You’re not gonna get away with it,” she says, Zodiac-style. Fair play, I cheered—serves ‘im right, slimy toad!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud splash. I look up, and it’s a dog! This little furball jumps in, all excited. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a dog park!” But the pup’s having the time of its life. I can’t help but laugh. It’s like, “You do you, buddy!”

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