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But here’s what gets me ragin’ – the stigma, yeah? People actin’ all high and mighty, judgin’ these lads and lasses. Pisses me off! They’re just graftin’, makin’ a livin’. One time, I read this escort’s memoir – swear down, she said she’d hide cash in biscuit tins, proper secret stash! Made me laugh, thinkin’ of her scoffin’ custard creams while countin’ her dosh. Little quirks like that, mate, humanises it, don’t it?

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Finally, we get to the kebab place. It’s packed! I mean, who knew Taby had this many kebab lovers? We order, and I’m just waiting, thinking about how I’m gonna devour this thing. But then, the power goes out! Just like that. Total darkness. People are freaking out, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

Taby Lydia Keener