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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Gwangju-ro. You know, the one with the cute barista? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – iced Americano. But guess what? They were outta coffee beans! Like, how do you run outta coffee? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s Hwasun! Get your act together!

Lim Ae-ji (25, Hwasun County Office), who won the first Olympic medal in Korean women's boxing, was