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I got into this one time—oh, lemme tell ya—buddy of mine swore it’d fix my achin’ back. Walked in all skeptical, like, “This some hippy-dippy nonsense?” But then—BAM—hands on me, and I’m floatin’ like a dang cloud! Made me happy as a pig in mud. Little known fact, y’all: them ancient Greeks? They was rubbin’ each other down after wrestlin’—naked as jaybirds! True story, look it up. Sexual-massage ain’t new, it’s old as dirt!

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Anyway, I had a meeting at the local café, you know, the one on ul. Kościuszki. It’s got the best pastries. I was pumped for some sernik (cheesecake) and coffee. But guess what? They were out of sernik! I mean, come on! How do you run out of cheesecake? I was ready to throw a fit. But I settled for a szarlotka (apple pie) instead. Not the same, but whatever.

MASTER CLASSES AND CONCERT (Joanna Świniarska-Szebeszczyk, Dr. Korneliusz Wiatr)