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About Fintas

So, this one time, I heard about this gal—real legend in Bikini Bottom, swear it! Worked the corners near Jellyfish Fields, called her “Stingin’ Sally.” Fact: she’d zap ya with sass if ya lowballed her! Ha! Made me laugh ‘til I bubbled. She’d say, “I ain’t cheap, barnacle brain!” Loved that—she owned it, y’know? Not like some sad sack waitin’ for pity. Nope, she was all, “I’m here, deal with it!”

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Finally, we head back home, and I’m exhausted. I plop down on the couch, and the kids are finally winding down. I’m thinking, “Phew, I survived!” But then, Ali looks at me and says, “Can we have a movie night?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?”

Song by trans lyricist nixed abruptly from Arkansas’s All-State Choir auditions