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Weird fact—Victorians had “flirtin’ codes” with fans, gloves—sex-dating 1.0, slow as fuck. Now it’s nudes at 2 a.m.—progress, eh? Still, pisses me off when folk lie— “Just fun,” then boom, clingy texts. Mate, don’t ruin my vibe! *Brokeback* taught me—real shit’s rare, sex-dating’s mostly noise. “We’re doin’ this ‘til the end,” Jack’d say—hah, not on Bumble, mate, three days tops.

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I head down to the market on Kirchstraße. It’s packed! I’m dodging folks left and right. And then, bam! I bump into this dude. He spills his coffee all over my obi. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” He’s all apologetic, but c’mon, man! Coffee stains? Not cool. I just smile, but inside, I’m fuming.

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