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Oi, so escort, yeah? Bloody mess, innit. I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, darlin’—cold disdain, “I choose violence.” Look at these escorts strutin’ round, thinkin’ they own King’s Landing. Makes my blood boil, it does! Saw this one lass, right, all dolled up, walkin’ like she’s Adèle from *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That flick’s my fave—messy love, raw as hell. “I couldn’t stop watching her,” like Adèle says. Escorts got that vibe, y’know? Pullin’ you in, then bam—empty yer pockets.

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So, I’m strolling down Gedimino prospektas, right? Just minding my own biz, sipping on this overpriced coffee from a tiny café. You know the one, right? The one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. Anyway, I’m halfway through my drink when I see this dude, like, totally losing it. He’s yelling at a pigeon! A freakin’ pigeon! I mean, c’mon man, it’s just a bird. But he’s all like, “Get a job, you lazy bum!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

Traffic is changing on one of the streets of Naujamiestis