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Once, nearly got nabbed—dumb as a bag’a hammers, me. Drove ‘round, lookin’ lost—cop flashed his lights. Heart poundin’, I’m thinkin’, “George, you idiot, this ain’t no misunderestimation!” Sped off, laughin’—happy as a clam I didn’t end up in cuffs. Prostitute’s name was Candy—swear it! Said she’d been at it since ‘98, savin’ for a trailer. Gritty gal—kinda admired her hustle.

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After my caffeine fix, I hit the river. The banks are packed with folks, all tryin’ to snag a fish. I set up my rod, and boom! First cast, and I’m feelin’ lucky. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trippin’ over my line. I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?!” He just laughs and keeps runnin’. I mean, come on! I’m tryin’ to fish here, not babysit!

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