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Greed is good, see, ‘cause it pushes ya to find the best—none of that half-assed crap. Ever hear ‘bout the Romans? Those horny bastards had massage orgies, oil everywhere, no shame—true story, look it up. Me, I’m sittin’ there last week, some gal’s workin’ my shoulders, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is livin’!”—like that *Syndromes* line, “It’s like a dream I had.” But real, ya know? Real sweaty, real messy, real freakin’ hot.

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After a quick catch-up, I head back to the office. I’m feeling a bit better, but then I get another call. This time, it’s from the warehouse. They’ve mixed up the shipments. Ugh! I can’t even. I’m ready to pull my hair out. I mean, how do you mix up a shipment of apples and a shipment of tires? It’s not rocket science!

Bomb tinkerer could have caused greater tragedy / Article