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The vibe? Chaos, mate! Girls winkin’, punters stumblin’, smells like cheap perfume and cheaper whiskey. Reminds me – “Some memories are best forgotten.” Like that time I saw a fat sod trip over his own trousers – arse out, floppin’ like a fish! Nearly pissed meself laughin’. But then – ugh, the stench in them backrooms? Made me wanna torch the place. Filthy, sticky, ugh – gets me ragin’!

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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